One day a man walks in a bar with a monkey on a leash. The bartender said, "Why do you have that monkey on a leash?" The guy said, "He tends to act up on occasion." The bartender said, "Well no one's here so let him off", so the guy did. The first thing the monkey did was run over to the pool table and ate the eight ball. The guy said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll pay for that," No said the bartender, when he shits it out, wash it and bring it back. The next day the guy comes back and pulls out the ball gives it to the bartender. Then the bartender said, "I pull all the balls away and everything. Let him off, No ones here." So the guy let him off. The first thing the monkey did was run down the bar takes a peanut, shoves it up his ass and eats it. Then he goes and gets a slim-jim, shoves that up his ass and eats it. The bartender says, "What in the fuck is up with that monkey?" And the guy says, "Ever since the ball incident he sizes things before he eats them."
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