Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
A blonde and a bruenette were sitting on the park bench when the bruenette
said, "My
boyfriend used to have dandruff but then I gave him head and shoulders".
The blonde said,
"How do you give a man shoulders?"
Q: How do you give a blonde more headroom?
A: Adjust the steering wheel.
Q: Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering wheel?
A: She was trying to blow the horn.
Q: Why does a blonde wear panties?
A: To keep her ankles warm.
Q: What did Santa say when he saw the three blondes?
A: Ho Ho Ho
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after having sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new
boyfriend?
A: "Funny, you don't feel Jewish."
Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: What's the difference between a broomcloset and a blonde?
A: Only 2 men can fit in a broom closet at once!
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They are both fucked when they're on their back.
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before she went out?
A: If you're not in bed by midnight, come home.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?
A: At the circus you'll find a cunning array of stunts.
Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?
A: You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball
Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in
her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already
written on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra?
A: Thanks for the refill.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge.
Q: What goes blonde,brunette,blonde,brunette,blonde...?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb.
Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A1: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
A2: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A3: Don't tell her to swallow.
A4: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Q1: What did the blonde say after sex?
A1: Are you guys on the same team?
Q2: And after that...
A2: What kind of car is this?
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A1: Whiteout on the Computer screen
A2: Joystick is wet
Q: Why did the blondes belly-button hurt?
A: She had a blonde boyfriend.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a cow?
A: Blondes don't shit on the floor when you pull their tits.
Q: How can you tell a blonde just got done eating?
A: By the belt buckle marks on her forehead.
Q: What do you get when you cross a spic and a blonde?
A: A kid who spray paints his name on a chain link fence.